Two people I know now have recently become grandparents. Peers, my age. I am not sure I ever envisioned this, but my generation is of that age when our kids are beginning to have kids of their own. And Life goes on…Hitting one´s peak, job security, bills and debts to pay, ceremonies to attend, and as one generation comes in, another moves further up the pews until finally, we become the venerated object of attention in the box up front.
It all moves with little pause.
Time appears to not reflect too much upon its own lumbering weight.
And yet…no distress. It´s OK.
It is as it is, moving irretrievably towards its end, all quite predictable, all quite in the nature of things.
I remember being a child, I remember events and flashes of searing pain or ecstatic joy. I remember, too, the awkwardness potential of adolescence and the bright power of my own glory days.
I remember as well, smaller lights, flickers of Eternity in the tiniest gesture or ill-considered impetuousness of acting out stupidly for one reason or another.
I remember hitting 30 and a cake wheeled in front of an audience in Los Angeles I was trying to impress with my intensity and organizing skill burst into warm applause as I seethed within at the break of protocol, wishing to hide and yearning instead only to be taken seriously. So seriously I forgot to appreciate the kind gesture given me on that momentous occasion.
I remember 40 and the two too-many glasses of port hiding some deep down knowledge that the trajectory of my life had turned a corner whose momentum I couldn´t stop and knowing far inside that it would not be good.
And 50? Meh…
49 was more “significant” for an old student of cosmologically meaningful number sequences.
7 x 7.
That was cool.
I climbed a mountain that day, ate and hiked well in good company and faced a future in a foreign land as an exile where I still remain, now contemplating cultural resonances sent to me from afar, reminding me of a belonging I need only return to in order to partake of.
And now they are having grandkids around me.
And I am happy for them.
As it goes on and on and on…